; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
