Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
