This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You dont lie about slip and slides
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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