Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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