There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
