Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
