So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
