You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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