i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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