never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i think my cat just said my name.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
