just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize