Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
