Im at strip club and am horny
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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