Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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