see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
