Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
