I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
