The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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