We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
