I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
