How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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