Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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