her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
