I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
