super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
