i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
