okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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