I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
