Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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