I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
