I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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