This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
