my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize