THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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