maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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