Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
