party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
