My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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