I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
