so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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