I'm laying in your front yard are you home
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Randomize