Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You need a sexual gate keeper
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Randomize
