i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
