I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
