Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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