Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
