He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
