hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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