u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
