The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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