The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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