I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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