The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
