Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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