Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
