If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
