If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize