i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize