Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize