i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
