And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize