y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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