just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I believe in your delicious
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
