he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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