The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
