I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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